Look at us

Gently bearing this fragile thing, stretched thin over many landscapes,

Pulled along by this fierce thing through rough waters and turbulent skies.

I Iay here alone
Picture you hurtling through the night sky
thousands of miles from me
And further yet
It will be days before you return. So many that it is too soon to begin counting down.
For now I just get through them.

It challenges even the most cheerful, this life.
There are those who would wonder if the glass is half full
or half empty
If we were to take it on mere majority, the answer would be clear

Which portion of my world is real life, Which fantasy?
The days that stretch long without you?
Where I wake and wander alone, Leave the same quiet house that welcomes me home at night,
Open a bottle of wine that lasts for days before being emptied into the drain.
Or the days so full of you that I burn both ends,
Grow dark circles happily For want of a full night of sleep,
Open my eyes at dawn to see you watching me
and turn into your arms to capture a few last moments of comfort.

Which is more true?
This life we build on-screen,
over vast distance,
awaiting a text,
tracking your flight,
video calls,
the way your Lips loom in as they approach my screen

Or is this a mere holding pattern? YOU, circling, circling, circling. Biding time.
ME spinning too.
Dizzy with longing.
Awaiting your approach.
Awaiting the rush and speed and roar
followed by a gentle settling to the ground.
Then, when you are finally here, I am grounded.
Certain and steady.
Is that more true then?

Destination Unknown

So much to love about this picture. 

Tonight I spoke to Rob via video chat from Germany. It was 3 a.m. there. Though he leaves me for weeks on end to deal alone with these doggos who are never so well-behaved for me, at least his job doesn't mean weeks on end of radio-silence. Not sure if I could have managed my end of this deal in an earlier era. He will spend the next 2 weeks zigzagging across the globe... Back to the states, and Germany and Dubai and Shanghai (I think?). His destination may truly be unknown, but we are both grateful for the technology that helps keep us connected. 

It's a good thing I love Power Tools

Central Park Transfer House, Decatur, IL

One of my favorite summer jobs from my college years was working for the Streets and Sewers department in Decatur. I was assigned to Central Park, a lovely green space in the small downtown area that featured a fountain, walking paths and park benches. I was charged with maintaining the greenspace and oddly enough was required to spend 40 hours a week in the park. Let me just say, it was far more time than was required to upkeep that tiny park space.

It was at that summer job that I first learned to use and love power tools. All the tools! Mowers, weed-eaters, hedge-trimmers. Willie, an ancient Streets and Sewers employee, was charged with dropping me off at the park each morning and picking me up each afternoon. He is the one who taught me how to use the power tools. I am filled with so many fond memories of that summer. Thank you, Willie! I couldn't be the independent pilot-wife that I am today, without the skills I gained that summer. 

So, it was super windy here, yesterday. And This happened: nearly half the tree split off. 

I initially tried to drag it out of the driveway to buy some time, and possibly the chance that I'd have help with cleaning it up. But, it was far too heavy for me to even budge it. And, Rob is in Shanghai and not due back for days. So, of course, I demonstrated, once again what it means to be a pilot-wife. 

I went after it with a chain-saw. 

Life is good. As you can see from the photo, my lawn needs attention. That will wait for another day. 

Living on opposite sides of the clock

My Google Search history is riddled with the query. What time is it in.....fill in the blank.
Rob spent Christmas in Shanghai, New Years in Hong Kong and over-nighted in a variety of European and Asian cities in between.

This month it's been New Delhi, Hahn, Germany and Latvia. He's in the middle of a 17 day trip and this is the text I got from him the other day: 

Unacceptable. Ha. Because you just do. Accept it. 

Every step along the way to where he is now in his career, I have dreaded the anticipated changes and struggled in the early days of learning some "new normal" for us. But, here we are living via video-chat, and doing ok. 

He's missed some major holidays and won't be home for me to pamper him on Father's Day. But he'll make it home on our anniversary. Until then, we live on opposite sides of the clock: I stay up late to say "good morning" to him or wake up to a message that came through at 2 a.m. saying "getting ready to take-off". Sometimes that means that it will be 5 p.m. my time before he lands and can be in touch. As much as I miss him and struggle with the reality of his job: I know it is harder for him. Long days, interminable jet lag, boring 3-day lay-overs in the middle of nowhere. 

Sometimes he is lucky and there are other crew members in the same hotel. Other times, he is wandering around New Delhi looking for a late dinner by himself, trying not to look lost while actually being just a little bit lost. Those stories are shared after the fact and I try to pretend that things like that never happen. I actively try not to worry. 

He sends pictures of his exotic meals, interesting architecture, and smog. I send pictures of the garden, his dog and myself. What would this life be like if we didn't have the technology available to communicate instantly as we do?  Though I am glued to my phone more now than I was while "on call", it is something to be grateful for. 

Still, he is far away. Getting home from where he is now would mean flying straight north until he passed over the top of the globe and began heading south. It's a lot of miles. And he's not turning toward home for almost a week. 

I'll be here waiting. 

10 Signs You Are Married to an Airline Pilot

1. You carry your passport in your purse and have been known to go to the airport with no luggage for a weekend trip.

2. The terms: pushing, slam-clicker, CAT-2 approach, The Majors are meaningful to you

3. You can handle most home emergencies on your own.  But not ALL emergencies.

4. Vacations will nearly always include a visit to the local air museum.

5. You understand that flirting with the gate agent is not only ok, it may be what gets him a seat on the plane that will bring him home to you.

6.  Airport appreciation time is a thing. Read about my airport loitering PR here

7. Travel plans always include a Plan B.  When we originally planned a trip to Belize we ended up in Puerto Rico instead.  Read about another Pass-travel Fail here

8.  Most years, you attend the office Christmas party alone.

9.  Close to half of your relationship is conducted via text, phone or skype.  Oh boy!  I have not always been as OK with that as I am today.  But, we DO get creative. And we've learned to put technology to good use.

10.  You've learned to walk that fine line between making Home a comforting place to land at the end of a trip and keeping his adventure-loving spirit stimulated.

Women In Aviation Conference: And a three day tour of Nashville

When Rob registered for the Women in Aviation conference/job fair six months ago, I immediately offered to join him, because, Nashville. Driven through it before, but never visited.

It fell at the worst possible time for me. We had just returned from our dive trip to Bonaire. I was back at work for a week and then left again. And THEN, I was scheduled for some ongoing education at Duke University for a week. But, I was eager to get to know Nashville and I had discovered that some long-lost cousins live in the city, so I was excited to reconnect with them.

Tuesday my 24 hour call shift ended at 8am.  I was blessed by the call shift gods and actually slept at home, uninterrupted all night. Rob and I had planned to squeeze in a training flight for CAP because with all my travel this month, we really had no other available time to fly. So, we were up early and at the airport ready to depart by 8am.

It was a brief aerial photo training mission. We circled Arsenal Island and I took some shots of the dam and the site where an emergency services training will take place in a few months.  It was windy, and quite turbulent. The turns around my target were steep and tight.  Suddenly I was reaching for the motion sickness bag, humbled, but really and truly sick. I had managed to get the shots I needed, so we made a quick landing and were ready to hit the road to Nashville.  Yes, driving!  When every aviation professional in the country is headed to the same place, we knew better than to rely on pass travel.  And it's only a short 8 hours from home.

The week prior, as I went online to book our lodging, I discovered that the SEC tournament was in town.  Read, sold out and expensive hotel rooms. Instead, I decided to give Airbnb a try and found a sweet little 3 bedroom home we were able to rent for far less than the going rate for a hotel downtown. We got to the house, unloaded our bags and went in search of BBQ nachos.  It was Rob's birthday!

We decided to give Whisky Kitchen a try as the review for their BBQ nachos were good. There was a bit of a wait, even on a Tuesday evening, but we were told we could hang out outside, by the patio seating and take any seat that came available. Rob went to the bar and got drinks and we found a table shortly...not seated, mind you. It was a bar height table without stools. No probs. We were starving and not at all picky.

On the patio at Whiskey Kitchen

Rob got an Old Fashioned I stuck with wine and we eagerly awaited the acclaimed BBQ nachos. Very disappointed to find the nachos to be lacking in BBQ sauce. There was chicken, but no sauce. When we asked about it, our waitress happily brought us a ramekin of BBQ sauce that we drizzled over the nachos. Much improved! Rob ordered a second drink, trying the New Fashioned on our waitress' recommendation, but it was really not at all something he enjoyed. When she asked how he liked it and learned that he didn't at all, she insisted on replacing it with another Old Fashioned.

We went seeking music after dinner and ended up at a quaint little place called Family Wash and Garage Coffee.  A former Laundromat turned diner/bar.  The featured bands were different permutations of the same people; by evenings end they were all on stage together, shoulder to shoulder, putting out some good music. Trombone, steel guitar, accordion, and harmonica added to their unique sound.

Wednesday, we mapped the nearest Walmart and went in search of a portfolio. Duh. How do neither of us own one of those already?  Then we searched for a place nearby to get breakfast.  Sam and Zoe's looked suspiciously empty when we drove up at 7:36, but they had just opened. By the time we got our food, they were filling up.  I had a yummy strawberry scone and Rob had a breakfast burrito. Funky little place with a cool vibe. We ate quickly and then I drove Rob to the conference center and came back to our little house and took a nap. Then I met my aunt and cousin for brunch at a fun little place called Pfunky Griddle. You make your own pancakes and hashbrowns, even eggs if you order them.  The kitchen will prepare your bacon for you but the rest is up to you. It was fun!  Our waiter, Jeff, could not have been kinder or more patient. His t-shirt was covered in what looked like pancake batter and flour and it fit right in to the overall feel of the place.... a little bit grungy. But the place was full and the patrons all seemed to be enjoying themselves.

I spent the afternoon planning out our evening's adventures:  a tour of the neighborhood distillery, Corsair Distillery, Then Uber to The Hermitage Hotel downtown for happy hour in the Oak Bar, where a local we chatted with for awhile bought us a drink. Now that's some Southern Hospitality!  We had dinner at Merchants and then made our way over to the famous Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. What a fun night!

The Hermitage Hotel

Southern Hospitality at its finest. All we can say is "Thank you, Dewayne!"

Dinner at Merchants

Thursday morning we had breakfast at Pancake Pantry in Hillsboro, a neighborhood near Vanderbilt University.  This place was one of the "Must Try" breakfast spots that I had read about. It was fine. I could tell it was a local favorite. But, there was nothing spectacular about it. The neighborhood is cute.  I came back later to browse the shops while Rob attended the conference.

Thursday night, after Rob finished up at the conference, we had dinner with my family.  They were so sweet and had a very special German chocolate cake made to celebrate his birthday. We visited and reminisced and I received an "Uncle Dave special" hug as we said goodbye.

It was still early so we went out via Uber again to Music Row. Cant get enough live music in Nashville. We made sure to visit the world famous: Honky Tonk Central.

Friday:   Biscuit Love Go there. Stand in line.  This place is So worth the wait for breakfast. As the line wends its way toward the entrance, wait staff will come out and hand you menus. Once inside, you can browse the swag. I didn't buy a t-shirt or a mug. I did have a very memorable breakfast. The biscuits, well, of course. They are fantastic. I had a simple egg plate: with toast and cheese grits. Rob tried a unique take on a breakfast sandwich called The East Nasty. Biscuit + Gravy + Fried Chicken + Cheese.
We shared the Bonuts. It was an indulgence. But we had a long drive ahead of us.

These are the famed Bonuts. You gotta. 

The East Nasty 

Our three days in Nashville were so fun. I can't wait to return. Rob's conference went well. He made some good contacts. We are optimistic that he will find a way out of the regional airlines soon.  I am not sure what that will mean for how our lives will change, but I know it will be an important career move for him.  Cross fingers for him!  

Your Dog and I

Your dog and I

We wander the house

Aimless

I take up a task for a moment

Then return to the couch

He turns in circles

And lays back down

These days are better

My mind will settle on a book

And your absence isn't a physical pain

But I remember those days

Curled up here on the couch

Only sleep would ease the ache

Of missing you

Those days and months

When even your imminent return

Failed to revive my soul

When missing you

ruled the day

even when you were here

It got easier

You said it would

But you and I apart

Will never be right

Your dog and I

We will always be here

Slightly less ourselves

When you are gone

Unsure how to compose our bodies

Without you to lean against

Without your foot to step on

So, we circle and sit

We look for distraction

We listen

For the sound of you

Our man, at the door